Honoring Self-Care: Lessons learned from motherhood

To the Mom Who Feels So Tired:

A Reminder to Love Yourself & Give Yourself Grace Along the Way

Let’s face it—self-care as a mom can feel impossible. I wish someone told me this when I was raising my littles, But here’s the truth: even small moments of self-care can make a world of difference… I’ve come to realize this now in my 40’s!

If you’re struggling to make time for yourself, Here are 3 simple, realistic ways to get started:

1. Start Small with “Me Moments”
   Think of small, simple self-care moments you can add in throughout the day. Maybe it’s sitting on your bedroom floor with the door closed in silence, a hot cup of coffee/tea in peace, or stepping outside for a quick breath of fresh air ( this ALWAYS helps me ). These small breaks can be so grounding and help you reconnect with yourself, even during the chaos of a busy day.
2. Set Gentle Limits/Boundaries
   Try setting one small limit that protects your time and energy. It might be a dedicated 10 minutes of alone time after the kids go to bed, or simply saying “no” to one commitment that doesn’t really feel good to you. Limits/boundaries can help create breathing room during your busy days.
3. Make Rest a Priority Without Guilt
   Embrace rest as a form of self-care. Let go of any guilt around taking a break, whether that’s going to bed a little earlier, waking up after the kids are off to school, squeezing in a nap, or letting yourself simply relax on the couch binging your favorite reality TV show. Resting helps you show up better for yourself and your family, so treat it like the essential self-care it is.

If I could go back in time to my 25-year-old self—the new mom who held her first baby with so much love and wonder—I’d whisper something so important into her ear. I’d remind her that she is deeply loved, that she matters, and that taking care of herself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Somewhere along the journey of motherhood, this message got buried beneath all the diapers, late-night feedings, and endless to-do lists. I wish I’d known that putting my own well-being first would allow me to be the best version of myself—not just for my kids, but for me.

And if you’re reading this as a busy mom, with little ones or teenagers (or both!), I know you get it. Self-care? Sometimes it feels like a luxury, like a facial or a massage on our birthday or like something we only do when everyone else’s needs are met. But, let’s be real— why wait for a special occasion, or when is everything done? When are we ever really “off-duty”? It can feel nearly impossible to find space to take a deep breath, let alone put our own needs first. Yet, I’ve come to realize that self-care is vital, even in the smallest ways, if we want to show up fully for our families. So maybe give yourself a little extra time after your shower and pamper yourself, take time on your skincare. 

After 40 years, and not taking my health for granted…I’m learning that I have to be my own caretaker first. Lately, with four teenagers at home, my exhaustion isn’t physical anymore; it’s mental and emotional too. I sometimes miss the days when I was simply tired from running around after babies and toddlers. Now, my mind is constantly buzzing with worries about school, friends, and their future. And I’m realizing I never thought about what having teenagers would really feel like back when I was a new mom. I’m learning that even in this season, taking care of myself isn’t just important—it’s CRUCIAL .

I want to set an example for my kids by showing them that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. They need to see me honor myself, take time to breathe, and refill my own cup first. If they can grow up understanding that taking care of themselves will lead to happier, healthier lives, maybe they’ll be better prepared to navigate adulthood. When I’m worn down, I’m not just affecting myself—I’m affecting them too. So, I’m working to make self-care a priority, even when it feels impossible, because I know that in the long run, it’s a gift I give not only to myself but to my family.

Yet, I know all too well that this journey is hard, and balance often feels tricky. The other night, as I lay in bed feeling overwhelmed, I closed my eyes and reminded myself of something simple: Take it one day at a time. Begin again. Some nights, that thought is the only thing that brings me comfort. It’s a reminder that tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, another chance to begin again.

So, to all the moms out there, this is for you. When the load of motherhood feels heavy, when you feel like you’re barely holding it together, remember: you are not alone. Take one day at a time, and let yourself begin again. Know that you’re worthy of love, rest, and care. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s the foundation for everything else.

From my heart to yours, let’s hold each other up in this journey and build our strong community together, with The Collective Heart. Let’s show our kids the beauty of taking care of ourselves. You’ve got this, mama. And remember—you are deeply, deeply seen & loved.

From one mom’s heart to another,
Stacey ♥️